Cringe. A terrible word, even the way it sounds – the hard c beginning with the squishy end – makes one wince.
Something is cringe if it is try-hard. If it bombs without any awareness. At its most extreme, it’s a kind of secondhand embarrassment you have for someone else not being embarrassed enough.
Today’s age is ironic. Especially online, most statements are not authentic. So much so that even genuine effort can be labeled as cringe. It’s easy to find examples. Just search cringe in X.
Acting like a tryhard is a vice. It reveals a lack of social skill and awareness. Moderation requires knowing the right amount of enthusiasm in a particular situation.
But perhaps the fear of cringe can be worse than the sin itself.
Say what you will about the cringe at least they have an ethos.
Courage requires pushing through awkwardness and embarrassment. There’s nothing intrinsically wrong with being seen as cringe by other people. Obviously, sometimes we need to genuinely try even if it is awkward. Social skill requires risking our reputation and sticking the landing with those who matter – not everyone. Criticism, especially online, isn’t that much signal in today’s ironic age.
We see a dynamic of resentment the very term: try hard. In childhood, many resent the student who does well in their classes and is favored by teachers out of envy. They don’t like the kid who shows up early to practice and continues to drill after it is over. They thus challenge the entire value of their projects, rejecting the value of grades and teacher approval or devaluing sports. There can be some insight in that – both maybe overrated – but if the act is purely done out of envy it is just as slavish as the teacher’s pet.
To the extent that we can, we should ignore all this. Aim to be more Stoic, without paying much attention to whether or not it’s cringe. So here are few cheers for Stoic cringe.
