The Roman emperor on dealing with bad character
Addressing others' faults and our own too
It is a ridiculous thing for a man not to fly from his own badness, which is indeed possible, but to fly from other men’s badness, which is impossible.
Meditations 7.71
What does Marcus Aurelius mean by this?
Other people’s failings are inescapable.
Whether it’s people’s serious faults or simply innocent traits that are so annoying – these are things we should expect.
Marcus Aurelius reminds himself of this in the famous opening to 2.1:
Begin the morning by saying to yourself I shall meet with the meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, deceitful, envious, and selfish.
And also Meditations 8.15:
Remember that as it is a shame to be surprised if the fig-tree produces figs, so it is to be surprised if the world produces such and such things of which it is productive; and for the physician and the helmsman it is a shame to be surprised, if a man has a fever, or if the wind is unfavourable.
Meditations 8.15
Fundamentally, we cannot fix other people. Instead of trying to do so, it’s often better to learn to live with them.
What we can do is address our own faults. That’s up to us. If only our own mistakes annoyed us as much as the faults of others!
Just as we shouldn’t be surprised at others’ failures of judgment, so we shouldn’t be that surprised by our own. Humans miss the mark and we are all human. Our errors are in the past. To paraphrase the Roman emperor, fly from your own badness while you can.