How to deal with tyrants
Epictetus on facing people with power over you
Today’s letter comes from the additional routines we just added to the Better Everyday With Epictetus course on Stoa. Enjoy.
How do you deal with bad people who have power over you?
In Epictetus’ time, he called them tyrants. Today, we might call them something else, but they still exist. The terrible boss, the bully, the corrupt politician.
First, Epictetus says to recognize that they are not as powerful as they seem to be. They might have a puffed up ego, but even with all their money or authority they don’t have power over the important things. They can’t make themselves a good person. They can’t make you a bad person. They only have power over a few things, namely external things, indifferents.
Second, recognize that if you fear them, it is because you also value things outside your control - these indifferent things. Epictetus says to his students:
But it is a man’s own opinions which disturb him: for when the tyrant says to a man, I will chain your leg, he who values his leg says, Do not; have pity: but he who values his own will says, If it appears more advantageous to you, chain it.
Discourses 19.1
Epictetus’ point is that if you desire things other people control, you will find them terrifying. If you desire a promotion, you will be focused on appeasing and kissing up to your terrible boss.
If you want to be popular, you will have to laugh along with the jokes of the bully.
The Stoic focuses on virtue. The Stoic does what they think is right with the things up to them, and accepts that the Tyrant will do the same. And if it seems right to the tyrant to chain up or exile the Stoic, they will do that.
Tyrants control the domain of externals. And if we worship externals, the things not to us, then they will control our happiness and our emotions.
Epictetus gives the example of a man who has been elected to an important position in Rome:
Has a man been exalted to the tribuneship? All who meet him offer their congratulations: one kisses his eyes, another the neck, and the slaves kiss his hands. He goes to his house, he finds torches lighted. He ascends the capitol: he offers a sacrifice on the occasion. Now who ever sacrificed for having had good desires? For having acted conformably to nature?
Discourses 19.1
Epictetus is right here. We claim to be Stoics but celebrate a promotion or raise.
We should focus on celebrating our internal victories. Elsewhere in the Discourses, Epictetus compares these moral victories winning the Olympics. The moral dilemma, the moment of bravery, the time you did what is right, that is your Olympics.
So ask yourself, when someone has scared you or seemed terrible, what external success or reputation are you holding onto?
Tyrants on their own are not as powerful as they seem. Don’t give them power over you by valuing the things they have the ability to give or take away.