Do not fear death

How to have fun instead.

Today’s letter is an excerpt from our course on Epicureanism in the Stoa app. To access the full course, download the Stoa app.

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What happens when we die? Do we receive punishment or rewards for how we’ve lived? Do we get to see the ones we’ve lost? Or is it just a void, oblivion, nothingness?

Death is terrifying. It is a great unknown, and the end of life. For Epicureanism, it is one of the foundational fears that causes distress and disturbance in our life. And the fear of death permeates many parts of our lives. It is not just the dread we feel at a funeral, or the pit in our stomachs when we go to the doctor.

It is also the fact that we can’t enjoy getting older - knowing that it represents getting closer to the end of our lives. Or that we feel an anxious energy to move, get busy, do something - as if our accomplishments or legacy could overpower death and the end it promises.

We don’t just fear death, we crave immortality. Which is a desire that cannot be satisfied.

The solution to this fear, Epicurus argued, is to realize that death cannot even happen to us. He said:

“Death, the most frightening of bad things, is nothing to us; since when we exist, death is not yet present, and when death is present, then we do not exist.”- Letter to Menoeceus, 125

Epicurus’ point is that death is scary because we cease to exist. But if we do not exist, then we cannot be harmed. This is a simple argument, but hard to digest fully.

Fortunately, Epicurus’ life shows us what this looks like to put into practice.

One of the few remaining biographical sources we have from Epicurus is a letter from his death bed. In it, he describes being happy. He is in extreme physical pain from the illness about to take his life, but that pain is outweighed by the joy of his memories, and the calmness of his mind.

He describes reminiscing about time spent with friends and loved ones, and how the pleasure of those memories is stronger than any physical pain.

Many die in total fear and anxiety, afraid of what is next - or losing what they have now. But in his final moments Epicurus showed how pleasurable dying can be if we can defeat these fears.

Someone dying without the fear of death is just experiencing physical pain - and with a calm mind that is manageable. As Epicurus wrote on his deathbed, his cheerful mind counterbalanced all his physical afflictions.

The Stoics took this exercise seriously as well. Memento Mori was a significant exercise for them - remember that you will die so that you can grow accustomed to this fact.

The goal is to be like Epicurus. We will die, but we do not have to die mournful or anxious. We will age, but aging doesn’t have to be unpleasant. It doesn’t have to be this thing we fight against, just because it reminds us of our own mortality. We do not have to let these facts influence our lives negatively.

In Rome, there was a famous Epicurean epitaph, the phrase written on tombstones. It goes “I was not. I was. I am not. I do not care.”

This is the key point for having fun: When you are not, you will not care. So enjoy what you have and don’t worry about what happens when you are gone.