Today’s letter is from our new course on the philosophy of Cynicism in Stoa.
We can learn a lot about ourselves by how we respond to the praise of others. Are you indifferent to it? Does it fill you with pride? Or does the positive attention make you uncomfortable?
Today’s story is about Antisthenes. Antisthenes was a pupil of Socrates and the teacher of Diogenes. He took from the teachings of Socrates that virtue was the highest good, and the key to a happy life. It is not a surprise then that Stoicism descends from Cynicism. Zeno, the founder of Stoicism, studied under the Cynic Crates.
While none of his writing remains, Antisthenes’ thinking was very influential. The ancient Biographer Diogenes Laertius, not the Cynic Diogenes of Sinope, said that Antisthenes laid the foundations for the city others would build.
However, like his students, he was sceptical of praise. According to Diogenes Laertius:
When told he was being praised by many people, Antisthenes asked, ‘What have I done amiss?’
So often we do things for the sake of what other people think. Sometimes, we don’t even realize this until years later. At a certain age we might take a step back and realize we were just trying to make our parents proud, or prove a teacher wrong.
Many experience a mid-life crisis when they realize they have built a life around living up to the expectations of others.
We are conditioned from a young age for the approval of others to be action guiding. We think we are on the right path if we receive praise, and question our decisions in the face of criticism.
But Antisthenes inverts this. He takes his praise, his popularity, as a warning. He must be doing something wrong if people like him so much.
Taken literally, this kind of thinking is dangerous. It is not freedom to reject what is popular and embrace what is unpopular - it is just contrarian. The opposite of stupid isn’t necessarily smart. And to always do the opposite of others is to just be a conformist of a different sort.
But the lesson here is that we don’t need to be constrained by the opinion of others.
And if you ever find yourself influenced by peer pressure, or tempted by the praise of others, you might need to channel more of your inner Antisthenes.
Marcus Aurelius wrote:
It never ceases to amaze me: we all love ourselves more than other people, but care more about their opinion than our own.
Meditations 12.4
It’s time to stop caring about the opinions of others.